[ARTICLE] HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU (ESPECIALLY CO-WORKERS) IN 60 SECONDS OR LESS

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We all want to be liked, and whether it is at work or at a social gathering, the key to getting people to “like” you may not be as difficult as you think. It’s actually about building rapport.


With rapport, communication is (should be) effortless and comfortable.


To have effective communication, it’s actually not about being liked at all. It’s about what you are saying - the words you are saying, the tone, meaning, and intention behind the words - and how you are communicating, even non-verbally. And then, it’s having the ability to listen.



Rapport is a natural occurrence - whether it’s awkward or it flows - it’s a natural occurrence when two people meet.


The best way, then, for two people to communicate is for both to be comfortable and feel natural. “Trying” is not a part of it. When you “try”, you are forced into pretending, exaggerating, and saying things to be heard or sound intelligent, which often is where communication becomes awkward and leads to misunderstandings.


The art of connecting with others quickly and making them “like” you is about making the effort to understand what the other person is saying to you - both verbally and non-verbally.


It starts with you taking responsibility of how you communicate and how you listen. And the good news is, you can actually improve your verbal communication and where you may be blocking communication from other people.


CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?


The real work revolves on your ability to hear - to listen and understand different communication styles. When you place the focus on understanding the true meaning of the other person’s words, then you are able to choose how you react and respond to others. Working with your rapport allows you to be open no matter their choice of words.


Here are a few steps to try, that will help you connect quickly with others:

  1. Look people in the eye when you talk and when they are talking. Pause to let them answer, instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next. Be ok with the silence.

  2. Match their body language. Otherwise known as “mirroring”, doing this will help you avoid invading their space. If they are smiling, smile back.

  3. Match their verbal pacing. If someone is short in their communication, be short.

  4. Don’t think about you. To build rapport with someone, make it about them.


Overall, there is a better question to ask when trying to make a co-worker or anyone “like" you. The question should be, who is this person? Be curious about them to see who THEY really are. You’re not trying to sell yourself, you’re trying to hear them and connect with them.  Trust me, it works every time.


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Hi! I’m Angela Anderson

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